What’s your experience with perimenopause?

No one was talking about perimenopause when I was going through it about 10 years ago and I wonder what it would have been like if they had. Because I just felt like I was going crazy.

And now, my feed has been all about perimenopause and menopause. Finally there is awareness, research, support, medical care all of which is long overdue for women’s health. 

And while some of what’s flooding my feed is informative, relatable and funny, all of it seems to have a pretty common theme: perimenopause andmenopause suck.

Are you seeing this too? 

And while my snarky side agrees to a degree, this is problematic, because perception matters.

Being bombarded with messaging about our symptoms has a tendency to create what's called an expectation effect: it shapes not only how we think and feel about that event, but how we behave.

Our brains are wired to seek out evidence for what we expect or anticipate. It's like buying a new car and suddenly seeing that exact model everywhere. The cars were always there, but buying the car sent the message to your brain that they are important, and your brain is now primed to notice them.

And menopause messaging can work the same way. 

If you're constantly told to expect poor sleep, brain fog, weight gain, and mood swings, then every forgotten name, restless night, or too-tight pair of jeans can start to feel like proof that you’ve lost control of your body and menopause is taking over. 

The greater danger is that when we treat things like brain fog, weight gain and mood swings as symptoms instead of signals from our body, then we outsource the solution to very human experiences to hormone therapy, weight loss meds, or ADHD drugs.

Without learning to listen to what our brain and body might be telling us. 

That we need some different nutrition. Or more rest. Or nervous system support. Or that something just needs to change.

When we become dependent on external solutions to internal problems, we give away our agency, one of seven fundamental human needs, which leads to anxiety, depression, stress, low self-esteem, and feelings of helplessness or hopelessness, often without even realizing why.

Now, don’t get me wrong. My path through perimenopause was a STRUGGLE. It felt like on any given day I had 99 symptoms. At one point my anxiety and panic was so out of control, the best and only option for me was medication to put the brakes on my nervous system. 

Fortunately, at the same time I happened to have a coach and mentor who helped me understand my nervous system and gave me tools to help me learn to regulate myself, my thoughts and my emotions, more clearly. And not only was I able to begin to manage without the medication, I better understood my body and for the first time in a long time, gained a feeling of control.

My experience showed me that relying solely on medication without lifestyle support with nutrition, exercise, recovery, and nervous system support is like putting water in a leaky bucket. Very expensive and high maintenance water in a very leaky bucket. 

I’m about a year into menopause now, and I am still in my hot flash era. Brain fog is still a real deal, but I’ve learned how to listen to and respond to my body in a way that I never thought possible. And as an unexpected side effect of working with my body I have a better relationship with myself, something I can now coach other women to do for themselves too. 

What's your perception of perimenopause or menopause? What’s your experience? 

Reach out and let me know your thoughts at caroline@carolinemorinhealthcoaching.com

I love hearing from you.

Till then, take care of you,

🩷 Caroline