The Invisible Obstacles
When my kids were in elementary school I made a list of the results I desperately wanted in my life.
Better physical health
Less stress
Time to have a hobby or do something actually fun
Make enough money to take my family on a vacation that wasn’t camping
I made a vision board. I dreamed about everything I wanted.
But there were all these obstacles getting in my way.
I told myself, “I’ll be able to when school is out. I’ll get to it over the weekend. When the kids go back to school. When they graduate. I have a time management problem. I have an attention problem. I don’t have time. I’m so overwhelmed. It’s overwhelming. I’ll have more time in the summer. When things slow down.”
The longer I stayed focused on the obstacles, the further I got from the results I wanted. I was getting sick all the time and struggling with anxiety and panic attacks that were disrupting my work and time with my family. I was consumed by stress. I was working all the time in an effort to avoid the stress and in doing so I blocked out any time for fun for myself or my family.
It took a pretty serious health event to force me to look within.
And what I discovered was that in reality, the things I thought were getting in the way of me taking care of myself weren’t the actual obstacles. They were the tangible RESULTS I had created in my external world by not removing the invisible obstacles of my internal world.
What was actually getting in my way of taking action towards the results I wanted so badly?
The thoughts that were running on repeat in my mind. My belief that I was too busy. That there was too much on my plate. That I couldn’t handle everything on my plate. That I was bad at focusing. That I was overwhelmed. That life was overwhelming.
All the emotions I ignored or pushed to the side that kept showing back up in uncontrollable mood swings.
A dysregulated nervous system that was driving me to coping behaviors like binging on cheese and crackers after work, drinking too much wine with dinner, or snapping at my kids.
By the grace of God I found a coach who helped me do the real work. Not just the meal plan or the accountability work. The work of managing my mind, processing my emotions, and regulating my nervous system.
It wasn’t a quick fix. Not by a long shot. It’s still an ongoing process. But the skills I’ve built along the way have helped me navigate menopause, kids moving away from home, and the stress of leaving a career I loved in order to take the risk of building a business that turned my pain into purpose.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself now to help you see what might be the invisible obstacles in your life.
What do you want? What do you really, really want?
What are you doing (or not doing) that’s keeping you from having it? Your answer is what you think the obstacle is.
What is your current experience with what you are doing (or not doing)? In other words, what are your current dominant thoughts and feelings? Here’s where you find your invisible obstacles.
I’m curious. What invisible obstacles are coming up for you? Let’s chat! DM me on Instagram and let me know @carolinemorinhealthcoaching