You start the week strong. You prepped some chicken, you bought the vegetables, you told yourself this is the week. And then life happens. Work takes over, people need you, your time disappears. And by Wednesday, you find yourself standing in your kitchen, staring into the fridge, and nothing in there feels doable. So you grab whatever is fast. Crackers. A handful of whatever. And while you're eating it, there's that voice.
Ugh. Why can't I just do this?
Everyone else seems to have it together.
You think you need more willpower or more motivation or that this is just proof that something is wrong with you. So you tell yourself you’ll start again next week, or in January, or when you feel more motivated. And beneath that frustration is a little bit of worry that maybe this is just who you are. That maybe you'll never be the woman who gets to the end of the day with energy left and actually feels good in her body.
If that's you, I've been there. I used to think I was lazy or unmotivated. Maybe you think that too, but my guess is that you are probably a woman who is carrying a lot, taking care of everybody, and trying to do this one more thing for yourself on top of everything else.
In this post, I'm going to challenge that thinking. Because I've sat with a lot of women in that exact kitchen, in that exact moment, and I can tell you: the problem is not what you think it is.
Then I’ll show you what's really happening when when life starts “lifing”, and the four-step way my clients work with obstacles so that hard days stop being the end of the plan.
What’s really going on
Here's what most people believe about obstacles.
We believe an obstacle is a reason to wait. I'll start when things calm down.
We believe an obstacle is a reason to quit. This just isn’t the right time to do this.
And we believe an obstacle is proof that we can't do it. I messed up, so what's the point.
So every time something goes wrong, our brain reads it like it’s some verdict being handed down in a court of law. And we stop.
But look at what that belief is really saying. It's saying obstacles are a sign that I'm doing this wrong.
And that's the thing I want to flip the script on.
Obstacles are not a sign you're doing it wrong. Obstacles are part of the process. Every single person has had a car break down, a sick kid, extra work piled on them at work, a seemingly impossible schedule to manage, a bad day. The difference is not that successful people don't have obstacles. The difference is that they expect them. They planned for them. And they see them as a chance to practice becoming a person who can handle them.
And here you might be saying, “But Caroline, you don’t get it. What I have going on really is an obstacle. There’s nothing I can do about it.” And I’m going to agree with you. And keep reading.
There's an old idea that says the obstacle is the way. The thing in the way is the path. Every hard day is a rep. It's where your identity gets built.
The obstacle is the way.
Now here's the second thing, and this one's about your body, not your mind.
When you're stressed, tired, and under-fueled, you are asking your brain to make good decisions with less of what it needs. Food is not just calories. Food is information. It tells your cells what to do. When we feed ourselves protein, fiber, healthy fats, and plants, we give our brain and body the raw materials to steady our mood, our energy, and our focus.
When we skip meals and run on coffee and crackers, everything feels harder. Decisions feel harder. Cravings feel much more insistent. And that voice in your head saying, "I can't do this" gets very convincing.
So can I tell you what I think is actually going on?
I don't think a lack of consistency is the problem. I think the problem is a planning-for-real-life problem. You built a plan for your best day. And how many best days do you actually have? Days when nothing unexpected happens and things just sail smoothly. Yea, I don’t have very many of those either. 😂
If that makes sense to you, if you're thinking that's exactly it, then here's what to do instead.
The Root Issue
The root issue is this: we have a plan for success, but no plan for obstacles. So here is how I teach my clients to work with obstacles. Four steps.
Step 1: Build a Plan That Works on Your WORST Day
Not your best day. Your worst day.
The day your car is in the shop. The day someone is sick. The day you're tired, annoyed, or it was just plain hard, and you don't want to cook.
If your plan works on that day, it works every day.
So here's the formula I use. Four parts on the plate:
A protein.
A fiber-rich complex carb.
A healthy fat.
A veggie.
Let me give you “worst-day” examples you can make in under ten minutes.
Rotisserie chicken, a microwave pouch of quinoa, half an avocado, and a bagged salad.
Or scrambled eggs, canned beans, a drizzle of olive oil, and some frozen spinach tossed in.
Or canned tuna or salmon on whole grain crackers with hummus and cucumber slices.
No recipe. No stress. Just protein, fiber, fat, and a veggie.
Are these going to win a Pinterest recipe contest? No. Are they delicious and exciting? Also no.
But they are getting the job done. You get nutritious food AND more importantly there’s no ensuing shame spiral. You are start to build more trust in yourself for the way you’re following through on your intention.
Here's the key: you decide this when you're calm, not when you're hangry. Stock three to five of these backups in your pantry, fridge and freezer. You are making that decision for the tired version of you ahead of time.
Grab my free 5 min meal planning framework HERE.
Step 2: Envision the Obstacles. All of Them.
Sit down for ten minutes and ask: what could get in the way of this? Be honest. Late meetings. Sick kids. A happy hour invitation. A craving at three o'clock. Just not feeling like it.
Then decide ahead of time how you'll handle each one. I teach four responses:
Over it. A small adjustment gets you past. Too tired to cook? Use the no-cook plate.
Through it. The discomfort is part of the growth. A craving shows up, you drink water, you eat the protein snack, and you ride the wave.
Around it. The path is blocked, but the goal isn't. At a restaurant, you find the protein, the veggie, and a healthy fat on the menu.
Wait or redirect. Sometimes an obstacle really does mean slow down. If you're truly sick or truly depleted, rest is the wiser move.
So how do you know the difference between a wise mind redirect and quitting? Ask yourself: Is this my body talking, or my old story? Is there an easier or a smaller version I can still do? Will I feel good about this choice tomorrow? If there's a smaller step, it's not a stop sign. It's just a smaller step.
And write out each obstacle as an “if-then” statement. If I get home late and exhausted, then I make my worst-day plate in ten minutes. When the moment comes, you're not deciding what to do. There isn’t any internal mind drama. You're just following the decision you already made.
Step 3: Visualize It
Now that you have a plan for each of these (inevitable) obstacles, mentally rehearse it. Walk yourself through each scenario in your mind. Visualization helps your brain practice a new pattern so it feels more familiar when you need it.
Make the picture bright and close and real. Actually feel what it feels like to do the thing you said you’d do. The more vividly you feel it, the more your brain treats it like something you've already done.
So when the obstacle actually hits, you're not meeting it for the first time. You've rehearsed it.
This is a practice I use and teach my clients to use.
Step 4: Reset Your Nervous System and Your Mindset
Here’s an important point. You can't make good choices from a stressed-out body.
If you’re standing in the kitchen trying to walk yourself through the obstacle and you’re in fight or flight, shoulders up around your ears, breathing shallow, thoughts racing, or you’re in a state of high emotions, you’re probably going to go for the bag of chips.
So take a minute to reset.
Ask yourself, “What do I want feel right now?” Calm? Determined? Intentional? Kind to yourself? Name it, and breathe.
That's the whole system. Plan for your worst day. Identify the obstacles. Rehearse navigating them. Reset.
Now, I'll be honest with you. Knowing the steps and doing them in the middle of your real life are two different things.
1:1 coaching gives you the support to get you there faster. Working together, we:
Build your personal worst-day plan, with foods you actually like and a kitchen you actually have.
Map your specific obstacles, the ones that derail you, and decide in advance how you'll handle each one.
Work on the thoughts and beliefs that tell you “I can't” the second things get hard, using cognitive-behavioral coaching frameworks.
Practice visualization and nervous system resets so you have a way to shift your state when you need it most.
Make sure you're fueling your brain and body with whole foods and enough nutrients, so you have the energy to follow through.
What Staying Where You Are Will Cost You
If you keep building plans for your best day, here's what likely happens.
You keep starting over. Another Monday. Another "this is the week." And each restart costs you a little more belief in yourself.
You keep running on empty. Skipped meals, coffee and crackers, eating at the end of the day because you finally have a second. And you keep wondering why your energy, your mood, and your focus feel so unpredictable.
You keep telling yourself the same story. I'm just not consistent. I always fall off. And the longer you tell it, the more it feels like the truth.
And you keep postponing the life you want. The energy to play with your kids or your grandkids. The confidence to walk into a room and feel good in your own skin. The calm of not fighting with food and with yourself every single day.
A year from now, you're going to be exactly where you are today, or you're going to be somewhere new because you decided to do this differently. Time is going to pass either way.
Now picture going down a different path. It's a hard Wednesday. The car is in the shop, the day went sideways. And you walk in the door, take one slow breath, open the fridge, and make your plate. Protein, fiber-rich complex carb, healthy fat, veggie. Ten minutes. And you think, I handled that.
Not because you got lucky. Because you planned for it. Because you became the woman who handles it.
That's available to you. You don't have to wait for things to calm down. They won't. And they don't have to.
What’s next?
If you want to start today on your own, take ten minutes and write your worst-day plate. Protein, fiber-rich complex carb, healthy fat, veggie. Stock three to five backups. That alone will change your week.
You can download my free 5 minute meal planning framework HERE to get you started.
And if you want someone to help you see your blind spots, to get you there faster, book a conversation with me HERE. It's a no-pressure chat where we look at what's been getting in your way and whether coaching is a good fit.
Remember, the obstacle is not the end of the plan. It's the practice of the plan.
🩷 Caroline
National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach, Precision Nutrition Certified, NLP Certified Life Coach, Certified HeartMath Practitioner, 20 year educator who turned burnout into breakthrough, helping you take care of you.
The information in this post is for general education and coaching purposes and is not medical advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about your individual needs.